Changing My Focus…

How do you alter your focus? Really change the direction you are headed and move in another direction?

I keep asking myself that question…It isn’t that the direction I am moving is wrong or it isn’t a happy path, I just feel like I could do better, be better if I made some changes.

I started by making a list of my of my ‘wants’, I am sure many of these aren’t far off what any mom and/or wife wants. They seem simple but when you work outside the home and have busy kids, theses things sometimes seem monumental. Many of my girlfriends are stay at home moms and many are working moms and most of the time, our wants are the same….

My Wants

Enjoy my home
Joy in my daily routine
Finding happiness in everyday
Reduce the frenzy of the day
Taking care of my home
- Cleaning
- Laundry
- Errands
Meal Planning and Prep
Offering undivided attention to my hubs and kidlets
One on one time with each of my kids everyday
Reduce my work schedule or eliminate work all together

Next came my list of ‘struggles’ where did I need to put in some work.

My Areas of Struggle

Really…All of the Above

Now what?? I have my lists….I asked myself, what do I do now?

First of all, I believe that creating the list and identifying what you want and what you struggle with is powerful. It helps stop your brain from spinning and focus, think, and decide what IS really important to you. It is similar to writing goals down on paper, it makes things more real, more tangible, more significant somehow.

It would be easy for me to think quitting my job is the answer to all of my problems….but I am not sure that will solve my entire dilemma. Yes, it will free up some of my time for the task-y stuff but it doesn’t solve the three ‘wants’ below, these are deeper more significant in my mind.

Joy in my daily routine
Finding happiness in everyday
Reduce the frenzy of the day

The bullet-ed items above require more intentional effort, they require me to pause and evaluate what I am doing or what I can do differently.

Joy in my daily routine is about finding happiness and enjoy in the mundane, in the trudge of chores, and running kids. So for me this is about the sweet conversations that happen in the car on the way to practice, this is the chat about soccer and school, I have with my 14 year old as we fold towels, this is when my 17 year old sits and visits with me about high school, friends, and boys as we make dinner, this is when my 5 year old helps me load the washer, so he can push all the buttons. These are things I am choosing to focus on rather than the task-y stuff, that really isn’t much fun.

Finding happiness in everyday is about laying my head down every night and feeling a sense of accomplishment and feeling good about my interactions with my hubs, kids, and everyone I came across in my day. It is about feeling good about my day, and some days it is HARD almost impossible to find the happiness because it has either been a crummy day or exhaustion overtakes me.

Lastly, reducing the frenzy of the day, it is less about reducing the running from here to there, being busy and eliminating activities to create less frenzy, for me this is about reducing that frenzied feeling from my kids. Making them feel like, even as busy as we are, that I am not stressed, uptight, anxious, or irritated and …..that I’ve got this. Creating for them a sense of calm that they can come to rely on from me as their Momma. Knowing that in moments of great stress and chaos that I can be their anchor and their calm.

I don’t want to pretend that everyday is great and I am perfect….that isn’t me or my life.

But I am conscientious of how I am and how it impacts my little people and some days I blow it and other days I am a rock star….but as long as I am working in what I feel is the right direction…I see this as success.